Tnfld | Episode 31: Our ultimate guide to moving

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Our ultimate guide to moving

It seems like a lot of people are thinking about moving these days… whether it’s to a new apartment, new neighbourhood or new country. We’ve both moved our fair share over the years and have it down to an art so we wanted to share our advice on how to know when the time is right, how to find the perfect place and how to ease the transition.

And check out the very handy articles

The 5 stages of moving and how to navigate them
Are you living in the wrong place?

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Muchas Graçias!!!


Tnfld | Episode 30: Are we entering the fifth dimension?

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Are we entering the fifth dimension…and what IS it?

2020 has been a year like no other and in the midst of the craziness that is the US election during another wave of COVID we’re taking a more hopeful look into where the world is headed… ever heard of the fifth dimension? There have been huge shifts in the world over the last little while and it really does feel like a lot of things are changing for the better. Listen for a dose of optimism and hope if you’re feeling anxious about how it’s all going to turn out!

Some of the articles we referenced:

p.s. If you like the podcast, show us some love… 🙂

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Tnfld | Episode 29: High Tide Blue Moon

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High Tide: Blue Moon

Welcome to our new full moon podcast! We’ll release an episode on the morning of the full moon (Australia time) each month so we can join together in a ritual of reflection and letting go. We’ll guide you through the energy of the moon, ask some journal prompts and lead a short mantra meditation to round off the night. Short, sweet and juicy!

The Emotion Wheel

Take a moment to stop and identify the emotion you’re feeling in this moment. You can use this wheel to identify and acknowledge your present tense. Check it out >

Monthly Check-in

What is one thing you’ve learned this month?
What is something you’re letting go of this month?

Journalling Prompts
  • What is one worry you can’t get out of your head? Do you feel like you can’t resolve it? If so, why not?
  • Imagine a future where that worry is resolved… what does it look like? Feel like?
  • What’s one thing you can do for yourself today to feel good?
Mantra for this moon:

Just for today, I will not be angry.
Just for today, I will not worry.
Just for today, I will be grateful.
Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
Just for today I will be kind to every living thing.


Tnfld | Episode 28: How to date…with apps

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How to date…with apps

Profile pics, banter, emojis, ghosting, projecting, and more!

We go through the three stages of app dating:

1. The Search
2. The Date
3. The Aftermath

What works? What doesn’t? What do we avoid? And most importantly…how do you find what you’re truly looking for?

Tune in for our very sage advice 😉 and some good old dating stories.

Here’s a helpful list we made for ourselves. If you’re feeling lost or confused about your dating life, try writing your own or use this/modify this list to keep yourself in check!

Our Dating Boundaries
  • Is he making an effort?
  • Does he make you feel good?
  • Is he being considerate?
  • Does he return your texts?
  • Does he call you?
  • Does he make you feel safe?
  • Does he want a committed relationship?
  • Does he want kids?
  • Does he have a job?
  • Does he like his job?
  • Does he make a good living?
  • Does he act like an adult?
Things to remember:
  • If it’s meant to happen it will happen.
  • Don’t pre judge yourself.
  • Let him decide his own thoughts (don’t make them up).
  • Don’t worry if he “gets away” or “slips away”, if it’s meant to be, he will come back.
  • Give him a chance to show you that he’s interested.
  • There is ALWAYS a next. So it’s YOUR choice.
  • What’s for you won’t go past you.
Great advice from someone else:

Check out this vid: Garance Dore on dating

. And remember… “You don’t need lots, you just need ONE.”

Happy dating!
– xx Alex & Tory

p.s. If you like the podcast, show us some love… 🙂

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Spotify: The Tnfld Podcast
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You’re the best!!!


Tnfld | Episode 24: High Tide October

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High Tide: Harvest Moon

Welcome to our new full moon podcast! We’ll release an episode on the morning of the full moon (Australia time) each month so we can join together in a ritual of reflection and letting go. We’ll guide you through the energy of the moon, ask some journal prompts and lead a short mantra meditation to round off the night. Short, sweet and juicy!

Full Moon Energy

This full moon is in Aries and it’s the Harvest Moon. The Harvest moon is the full moon closest to the autumn equinox and it rises soon after sunset and is said to be one of the brightest and fullest moons. Aries has intense energy as a fire sign and the leader of the Zodiac. It’s currently in direct opposition to Libra – the balance seeking, harmonious sign. Aries are the rams that want to charge ahead – acting before thinking, and Libras are always trying to make the peace. This full moon will bring tension and it’s best not to make rash decisions but take time to process our emotions.

Journalling Prompts

  • What is one thing you’ve been hard on yourself about in the last month? Are you able to let go of that today? And if not, why?
  • What is something you’ve done this month that you’re really proud of?
  • What’s one way you can show yourself love this month?

Mantra for the Month

May I be filled with loving-kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

Some extra full moon magic…

The mantra above is from one of our favourite yoga teachers and reiki masters, Wiebke Quiesser, from Yogatime Bondi . If you are in Sydney, definitely pop in for one of their amazing classes (we love a good yin & reiki night as well as their Kirtan Sunday sessions)!

And here is a little teaser if you’re up for some extra meditation:


Tnfld | Episode 23: Our self-care toolbox

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Our self-care toolbox

In the last podcast we talked about the Survival Mode Spectrum and how most of us are on it to some degree. So what do you do next? How do you deal? In this episode we talk about the best things we’ve tried and added to our own self-care toolbox. What really does the trick? What’s worth the $$$? What can you do for free? So have a listen and let us know what’s worked for you too!

Some information on NET (Neural Emotional Technique) cited in this ep:

What is it?
A recent study on its efficacy.

If you’re in Sydney check out:

If you’re in the Gold Coast check out:

Some girlfriend podcasts, for when you need a pick me up:

  • Life Uncut: Two girls in Bondi and former bachelorettes discuss the stuff you love talking about with your friends.
  • Girls Gotta Eat: They’re Sex and the City 2020. Have some fun and lift your spirit with these girls’ girls.
  • Love-life Podcast: beautiful lessons to help you when you need them most. It’s no longer in production, but there are over 200 episodes and they are A++
  • James Smith/Fair Points: Three British blokes living in Bondi trying to make sense of it all. An easy and comforting listen. (Make sure the title includes ‘Fair Points’).

Tnfld Podcast / Episode 21: The Survival Mode Spectrum…where do you sit?

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The Survival Mode Spectrum…are you on it?

From Auto-Pilot to Survival Mode, the majority of people nowadays live their life somewhere on the spectrum. The question is…do you? We put together the six badges people on the SM spectrum tend to wear and a questionnaire to help you identify if you’re living in cruise control.

The telltale signs someone (or you!) is in Survival Mode
  1. They appear successful and super together.
  2. If you ask them if they’re happy there’s always a hesitation/sense of dissatisfaction/inability to just say YES.
  3. If you go deeper, there’s always an underlying health symptom or issue that’s begun to pop up (for example: not sleeping, panic attacks, bowel issues, auto immune disorder, etc.).
The six most common Survival Mode badges
  1. Strong independent woman
  2. Complacent couple
  3. Money Maker
  4. Big Night Out-er
  5. Namaste Guru
  6. Leprechaun (looking for their pot of gold!)
Are YOU in Survival Mode?
  • Do you get home from work and melt into your couch with your comfort of choice… wine, chocolate, etc?
  • Do you always have your next vacation booked and are already planning the next one?
  • Are you counting down the minutes to 5pm on Friday when you can have that first drink?
  • Is it a boring day at work when you don’t have a package delivered?
  • Do you frantically text all your contacts when you realise you don’t have plans for the night?
  • Have you ever felt like a deer in the headlights when someone has asked you how you’ve been?
  • Do you find yourself staying up super late at night even when you know you have to work early in the morning?
  • Do you fantasise about injuring yourself so you won’t have to go in to work?
  • Do you find yourself deactivating and reactivating your social media accounts?
  • Do you find that even when you make more money it never seems to be enough?
  • Do you constantly feel like you rarely have a free moment to yourself?

The Health Effect

  • How is your sleep? Is it restful or stressful?
  • How are your bowel movements? Are they regular (1-few times a day), easy, and solid?
  • How is your skin, hair nails? Bright and shiny? Dry, thin and patchy?
  • Girls: How is your period? Guys & Girls: How is your sex drive?
  • How is your tummy? Strong and settled constantly upset?
  • How is your mental health? Anxiety overload, panic attacks
  • How is your immune system? Do you get sick all the time? Do you catch everything?

We break down what the badges are, which badges we are and what survival mode has looked like for us in the past. And most importantly, how to break out of it!


Tnfld Podcast | Episode 13: Let’s talk about our worries

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What are you worrying about right now? Is it really something that you can control?

We’ve all got worries and it’s easy to get swept up in them during uncertain times likes these. Talking about our worries is one of the best ways to work through them and to realise they’re probably not as bad as we think they are. We run through some of our recent anxieties and how we cope.

Tools for the anxious mind:

In 2013 I was stuck on a farm in a small town in Australia. I knew I was getting out soon and I knew that whatever I chose to do next would shape my entire life. I was terrified of making the wrong decision and my anxiety was running rampant. I decided to plot out my options as thoroughly as I could and create my own ‘crystal ball’ that would give me a glimpse at my possible futures. Here’s my chart below as an example. Hopefully it can help you too!


Tnfld Podcast | Episode 12: How we manifest

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Our lives have been put on pause and where we are at right now is it (for the foreseeable future).

Your job, your home, your partner, your friends, etc., what you have now is what you’ve got. The question is…is it what you want?

Now is the time to plan for the future. It’s the time for us to manifest.

………………………….

When we first moved up to the Gold Coast, we did a huge manifestation session… we put on some great tunes (Jon & Roy), talked about the 4 pillars we wanted to focus on – Mind & Body, Love, Dharma (purpose) and Home – and then spent several hours pouring out our souls. Here’s some of what came out of that session (and a lot of it has come true already)!


The 5 stages of moving and how to navigate them

You know how they say there are 5 stages of grief? There are also 5 emotional stages to moving that vary in intensity based on the size of the move, the stage of your life and your mental state. 

It’s been just over four weeks since Alex and I left our lives in Bondi to move up to the Gold Coast. In that time, we’ve gone through some huge emotional highs and lows and have realised it’s basically the same pattern with any move. It’s a tumultuous, emotional, roller coaster and despite having been on the ride several times over, the sheer range and depth of emotion that can come with it still catches me off guard and this is from someone who’s moved A LOT.

Here’s a quick breakdown of my life of moving: 

  • Home base: Toronto, Canada | Family home and anchor for the first 27 years of my life
  • Move 1: Waterloo, Canada | Uni and my first taste of freedom and independence 
  • Move 2: Evenos, France | Au pair job #1 in the French countryside with 3 kids 
  • Move 3: Liege, Belgium | Au pair job #2 in an industrial Belgian city again with 3 kids
  • Move 4: Quebec, Canada  | Internship with the government to improve my French 
  • Move 5: Paris, France | ERASMUS International student exchange program 
  • Move 6: Windsor, Canada  | Law school and trying to find my purpose 
  • Move 7: Jaco, Costa Rica | Escape from law school to learn Spanish/teach English 
  • Move 8: Bondi, Australia | The start of a new, sunnier, life across the world 
  • Move 9: Gold Coast, Australia | Trying out a more tropical, cruisey Aussie life 

Moving takes you right out of your comfort zone and forces you to consciously build your life again. It can make you question who you are, what you want and a myriad of other things, but it is always (in my experience) 100% worth it. There’s no way to avoid the roller coaster, but knowing what to expect can make it a bit easier, so I’ve put together a step-by-step guide to the emotions of moving.

My first move was just an hour outside of Toronto for uni. Here’s me with my floor during my first week in residence.

Pre-move: Stages 1-3

Stage 1: “Omg I have some news!” (aka excitement)

You’ve committed to the decision and are feeling the rush of excitement, anticipating the change, feeling free and like the world is your oyster. You’re a bit nervous but feel proud of yourself for taking the leap and excited for a bit of adventure. You spend time daydreaming about your new life and all the cool things you’ll do, and you delight in telling everyone you know about your big plans.

Stage 2: “Ahhh, I’m going to miss you SO MUCH” (aka rose-tinted glasses)

The clock is ticking down to moving date and you start getting nostalgic and appreciative of everything in your current locale. All your friends make time for you and start saying how much they’ll miss you; you probably get more quality time with them in your last few weeks than you have for the past few months – or even years. You feel a lot of warm fuzzy feelings and have new-found appreciation for your life as it is.

Celebrating with my law school crew about a week before I left Canada for Australia.

Stage 3: “F*#%! Have I done the right thing?” (aka fear & anxiety)

The reality of actually moving kicks in and you start to wonder if you’re a bit crazy…Why can’t you just be like other people and be happy with what you have? Maybe you are running away from something? Will you ever be satisfied? Did you not try hard enough? What if you don’t like the new place/can’t find a job/can’t find somewhere to live/don’t make friends? ARE YOU MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE?!?! 

Your thoughts run wild with worst case scenarios and you may secretly check if your ticket is refundable (true story).

19-year-old me during my au pair gig in the South of France. It was my first time going overseas by myself and I had crazy doubts before I took off!

Moving time: Stages 4-5

Stage 4: “WHAT HAVE I DONE?” (aka loneliness & displacement)

Once you actually make the move is when things get even more confusing. The roller coaster speeds up and does a few loop de loops and massive hills. You’ll feel like you’re in a limbo where your old home is no longer your home, but neither is the place you’ve moved to yet. You’ll question why you’ve put yourself through this and if it’s too late to turn right back around and resume your old life. But there’s something inside you that spurred the move and you hold onto whatever that is as your beacon. 

 One of my first days in Bondi – can you see the strained look on my face? I had just left Canada, my legal career and all my friends behind and was an anxious mess.

Stage 5: “I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner” (aka belonging & joy)

This is where the magic begins. It may take days, weeks, months*, but eventually you’ll start having moments where you feel at home in your new surroundings. Maybe you make a great connection with someone, find a new coffee spot that you love, witness some amazing phenomenon in nature, or just have a newfound sense of calm. There’s some sort of shift where you don’t feel quite at home yet, but you feel at peace and each new positive experience builds on this sense of belonging. When you start referencing this place as “home”, you know you’re in the clear.

Just living the life in Costa Rica… too swept up in the tropical climate and latin life to spend much time on phases 1-4.

There’s no set timeline to these stages and you’ll probably run through them multiple times and go back and forth between them. Just know that it’s normal to go through the highs and lows and feel a range of emotions – and that those emotions aren’t YOU. It doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong choice, it just means you’re human! Emotions are the most tricky, fickle thing, it’s always best to take a mental step back from them, take a deep breath in and not make any decisions in the heat of the feeling. With any move I always remind myself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” You’ll either find a new home that you love, or you’ll learn to appreciate your old home more and have no regrets or what if’s because you gave something new a shot. 

Carpe diem guys – xx Tory 

* After very extensive research, we’ve found the magic amount of time you need to give any move before you can make a decision about its success is three months. It’s enough time to feel all the emotions a few times around, settle in, make friends and get your bearings. You’re still on the rollercoaster for the first three months and no decisions should be made until you finally get off! 

 


Tnfld

How to live a life Tnfld. A life that is true, real and bountiful… expansive as the sky above.

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In the Gold Coast – watching the sunset from the headlands or swimming in the sea

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Send us your questions, thoughts, whatever’s on your mind… seriously, we want to hear from you! Drop us a line at hola@tnfld.com – no judgements, just love <3

 

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