Hi, I’m Alex –
a half Japanese, half Serbian girl who was born and raised in Toronto, Canada. I now live on the other side of the world in beautiful Bondi (Australia), with bouts of Bali in between.
I live in the sun, five minutes from the beach, work flexibly as a freelance UX/UI designer and yoga teacher and I can truthfully, honestly say that I am happy – happy and free.
Five years ago I had no idea that this would – or could – ever be my future. That good and incredible things were coming my way. I still pinch myself all the time when I realise again that this is now my life. That I had a ‘second chance’ and that so many of my wildest dreams have come true.
You can basically divide my life into two parts: before 28 and after.
Everything before felt a bit like living in the matrix. I remember from a very young age looking around at everyone else and feeling like I just didn’t ‘get it’. I didn’t seem to want the things that they wanted and I wondered what motivated them to care so much. I thought that there was something wrong with me and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So I pushed hard to achieve more: in my friendships, then my relationship, in school, in jobs and in my physical appearance. I took a LOT of courses (tennis, sewing, pilates, etc.) and was just a general, all-around, anxiety-driven overachiever.
I thought if I just learned how to do everything perfectly I would be given the elusive key to happiness. That I would finally ‘get it’.
The turning point was a long time coming. I had done everything ‘right’. I’d followed the plan to a T. I had the great job, the great apartment, the uni best friend – turned boyfriend – turned husband. I had all the money and markers of success that I thought I needed to feel happy…but I felt nothing. I felt an emptiness so strong I would wake up at night and not know what day it was…how much time had passed…and find myself thinking…how am I going to make it to 30?
Then my relationship began to really unravel – a process two years in the making – and I found myself stepping away from it all. For the first time I saw the future filled with uncertainty and instead of scaring me it woke me right up. I felt like I could finally breathe. I felt like there was hope. I felt like ‘purpose’ could be just around the corner.
That Christmas I took a one week trip to Costa Rica that changed my life forever. I came home to celebrate the New Year in Toronto, then booked a flight back to Costa Rica and spent the next year living like the heroine in one of the hundreds of novels I’d read during the long, cold winters back in Canada.
Eventually I settled in the beautiful land of Australia. And that’s where the rest of this story begins…